Crying Manly Tears – The Confession of a Makkun Fan?

I love anime songs for some reason. I blame my weak will power under attack during a period in my life when I was impressionable (freshman in college).

I’ve spent some time thinking about it on various occasions–and often while listening to anison while doing that. The conclusion, every time, was pretty much that music (and creative expression as an outlet of my generally repressed personality) was a growing part of who I am. I find myself surrounded by it and it’s a black morass, an endless pit of artistic swirls paving the fun, enjoyable, but fruitless sinkhole of time and energy. Music is the language of the soul, but where is my soul going?

And I’m not alone. Things like MySpace speak volumes of the similar spiral towards destruction traced by countless others. Having some idea how a recording are made in this day and age we all question the authenticity of artistic expression in its most common mode–radio and CD recordings. The simple act of making music is mixed into the industry of producing music celebrities. It’s the timeless dilemma of a pursuit of truth and beauty.

Still, I believe people have this innate programming that makes us recognize truth as confronted by it, and praise those that are beautiful. Is why I cry manly tears of hotblooded courage while watching a JAM Project live? Is this why Heart Shaped Chant is so enthralling (and it’s not even my favorite Nana song)? Is that why XKCD is my favorite webcomic for some time? Or find fellow Asian-kins quitting their jobs in search of a living by using good ajax code and promoting the indie sort of fun? Is this why people care about that open letter?

It’s silly. But it’s about soul. Maybe that’s what made me a Makkun fan in the first place. Being an oversea Makkun fan was hard as for a long time she was pretty much just your typical Star Child artist. Seeing her music evolve was interesting as she switched producers and tried to inject more of her personality in her works (at the cost of fans, probably). Eventually she slowly switched from a typical idol kind of promotion to a rock musician type of promotion. Some of it was corny but some of it was pretty fun too. It’s like she’s actually serious about this, but from my outsider perspective I don’t really know anything concrete.

But I think the anison scene can use more people like her. And people like the rest of JAM Project. And people who are willing to come together for passion and also for a living. I’m not sure why people like myself react to them the way I do. I’m not sure if anison is for people who are still kids inside. I’m not even sure if anison is something to be taken seriously. But for the passionate, the young-at-heart and the responsible folks out there, if they have a blast doing the thing they love and still make enough money to support themselves and be responsible human beings, well, then all the power to them.

And yeah, that is why the anison scene can use more Animelo Lives, as a corporate testimony of a meeting of spirits, of fire-branded souls screaming for joy at a festival of epic awesomeness.